I have been asking myself about the difficulty I have making friends, Especially Since I have been In Arizona has been it like this all my life?
I mean before I didn't really realize the complexity of it, I was just living my life. Most of the time with my family as my friends , with a close girlfriend here and there.
Has it been like that most of my life, I decided Yes.
You know what I really don't know how to change it. I really have no neighbors who are ladies at home looking for friends. Everyone is gone during the day working.
I go to Church the most likely
place I am going to meet someone to become friends with, I guess I am not sure how to
go about putting myself out there. All the girls are young mothers. They all have their
clique, I don't fit.
There are about 8-10 of us my age and older in my ward. (Congregation). So starting next week I am going to be more out going I guess and Introduce myself to a few I don't know. Maybe that will help. we will see. I hate being FRIENDLESS.
WANTED:
FRIENDS
2 or 3 will do
to go shopping to lunch or just sit and chat on a
rainy day.
Contact GRAMEE.
I mean before I didn't really realize the complexity of it, I was just living my life. Most of the time with my family as my friends , with a close girlfriend here and there.
Has it been like that most of my life, I decided Yes.You know what I really don't know how to change it. I really have no neighbors who are ladies at home looking for friends. Everyone is gone during the day working.
I go to Church the most likely
place I am going to meet someone to become friends with, I guess I am not sure how to
go about putting myself out there. All the girls are young mothers. They all have their
clique, I don't fit.
There are about 8-10 of us my age and older in my ward. (Congregation). So starting next week I am going to be more out going I guess and Introduce myself to a few I don't know. Maybe that will help. we will see. I hate being FRIENDLESS.
WANTED:
FRIENDS
2 or 3 will do
to go shopping to lunch or just sit and chat on a
rainy day.
Contact GRAMEE.
-
|
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 1:12:00 AM
What an awesome attitude you have! When I moved here 12 years ago I was worried about leaving my friends. We were in a comfortable groove. You know what I mean- they just got me. I confided to my mom that I forgot how to make friends. She gave me this advice: smile, give sincere compliments, volunteer for anything and bear your testimony when appropriate. Mother always knew best so I'm confident that what worked for me will also work for you.
Have a wonderful Easter and Conference weekend.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 5:44:00 AM
I so wish I lived by! I would be over all the time! I know about how difficult it is to make friends and then to keep them. I too feel friendless in this big world (when i say friendless it is here in my town) Its so hard in our ward when it is so transitional and just these new married young adults. I know that for me it is hard just because I dont want to deal with that Clique issue I hate that so much! UGH!! Anyway I totally get how you feel. Good luck! Love you lots!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 5:58:00 AM
I am in your shoes exactly. Only I'm in Colorado & I'd say 97% of the women in my ward are older than me & in a completely different place in their lives. For example they are all either "empty nesters" or their kids are teens.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 7:56:00 AM
You can & will do it! In my ward there are all ages however most of the families have between 5 & 8 kids & us only having the 2 we don't fit! Even the young transitional ones are working up to that number. Sigh... We'll work on it together!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 8:07:00 AM
I can totally relate to this post right now! I have made aquaintances in this new ward of ours & everyone has been very nice BUT its just not the same. I had a relationship w/ the women back home. I miss everybody already knowing me & my story. I hate talking about myself. It took me 2 almost 3 years in that ward to make friends. By the time that happens here we'll be moving again & knowing out luck it won't be within the same ward!
***SIGH***
Color me frustrated & tired & lonely today.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 8:26:00 AM
good luck to you.. but really, i totally understand how this feels.. the friends i DO have, that i am closest too and consider the "real" friends.. are the ones i met in elementary school... i tend toward being a bit shy, some ppl perceive that as being stuck up... so sometimes, it's a lose-lose situation... i'll be thinking of you.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 9:15:00 AM
girl, I would love to hang out with you. we click! only problem, a few hundred kids might have to tag along. You brave girl! Go adventure my friend!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 9:47:00 AM
I know what you mean. I think it's great that you are planning to do something about it!
I don't make friends too easily, and even though I'm one of those moms in their 30s with young kids, I don't have many close friends. Actually, the ones I talk on the phone to besides my family are one whose oldest child is 15, and one whose children are half grown and out of the house.
It can be hard, but you can do it!
Good luck!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 9:57:00 AM
1. I know I don't live in AZ (although I should) - I am your friend.
2. Way to take the bull by the horns! It's hard to put yourself out there, but once you do, the rewards will be worth it.
For the record, when I was a young mother (about 25) one of my very best friends was an older woman. Old enough to be my Mom. Don't count those young whippersnappers out : )
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 10:11:00 AM
I have been feeling the same way. We are in different points in our life, but I would love to be your friend:)
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 11:13:00 AM
I wish I could come and hang out with you and Lisa!
Keep hoping.. and have Faith.
The Lord knows our desires.. and you never know....
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 11:45:00 AM
Its amazing to see so many of us with the "friend" struggle. What could God Possibly be telling us? Be brave and pray and seek a friend, or just be happy with the friends in our families? Hmmm Wished I knew. I'm grateful for the internet friendships I have, that is for sure!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 1:16:00 PM
Don't they have outings and things based by age group at your church? I should think that would be a good idea???
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 1:40:00 PM
It sounds like you and I are a lot alike. As for myself, I am not terribly social and I don't really get into making new friends unless it just sort of "happens" on its own. It gets a little lonely (actually, a LOT lonely), but I don't know how to change it. You know? I am older than most of the mothers with kids my kids' ages (because I served a mission and didn't get married till my mid 20s) and on top of it all, I just don't like to think about the possibility of getting "hurt"...even friendships offer that kind of danger...does that sound weird and pathetic??? Probably, but that kind of sums it up for me.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 3:05:00 PM
The older I get, the harder it seems to get finding those girlfriend relationships. It's easier when the kids are younger and you meet at parks for playdates or volunteering at school.
I wish we lived closer...
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 7:11:00 PM
I totally think we ALL wish we could come hang out with you!
You have got a good attitude going on. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there - which can be hard.
This past week a young mother in our ward (I am old enough to be her mom) came up to me in Sacrament meeting out of the blue and asked if we could go to lunch. It turned out great and it was fun to get to know her. She was courageous to do that, but I loved it :D
I don't know why it couldn't work the opposite way. We are all women - age is just a number!
Have a GREAT Easter!!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 8:53:00 PM
I know what you mean about the age thing. We used to be in a Surprise Ward--and I was in my late 30's then. There were just a few my age--and we were the oldest. Everyone else was more in the newly wed age. It was pretty hard on me.
But--I have learned that there are a lot of people out there looking for friends and probably every one of the ladies in your ward your age are lonely. Maybe you could ask a few of them to lunch. I find it easier to go with a couple at a time so I don't have to worry about carrying the conversation the entire time.
I don't do well with rejection and so I was reluctant to ask people to do things with me, but once I started asking I found that most people were just waiting for someone to invite them.
And I will be done teaching seminary the middle of May and will have more time. Do you want to go to lunch with me? We could always meet at Pollo Loco. :-)
Saturday, April 03, 2010 1:59:00 PM
Reading your post and the comments makes me smile sadly. Seems there are many of us in the same boat and we don't even know it. I too feel friendless and lonely most of the time. I try to reach out and feel rejected. My two grown daughters feel the same way. Why can't we embrace each other despite our differences in ages and places in life? We'd all be the richer for it. Thanks for your honesty.