You have every appearance of being perfect, together, sane, beautiful, loving, compassionate, and happy. What would others think if they know the truth? You wonder, shuddering at the thought of being “found out”!
“A cultivated style would be like a mask. Everybody knows it’s a mask, and sooner or later you must show yourself — or at least, you show yourself as someone who could not afford to show himself, and so created something to hide behind.”
— Katherine Anne Porter
Your concern is one of non-acceptance. You are worried that others will not like you if they get to know how broken, vulnerable or weak you are.
In the process, you choose to wear a mask of pride, strength, dignity, and joy to cover up for your insecurities. The worse you feel about yourself, the more you need to pad yourself up.
Awakening happens when you find from within. You begin on a journey of self discovery. It is traumatic at first the losing of the mask.
At times, you contemplate putting on a brake in your search. You fear that by shedding the mask, you lose your identity. The identity that you have spent time nurturing all these years.
There is no turning back however once the seeds are planted towards this journey. Soon, the pull of the need to know yourself proves stronger.
Like a grey cloud, the mask lifts.
You experience Clarity.
You realize that there is nothing to fear from what is left behind.